Father's Day
love hate relationships
It’s father’s Day and I want to talk about about nerve recking thing emotionally for me. There are two types of lobe that exist for me one that my mom does which is soft love and another that my dad does which is tough love(not in exact sense but making things tough for me so that when world gives me tough time im okay with it) for the longest time I didn’t understand that what is this called and yesterday something happened that altered my brain chemistry completely which I shall tell you later in this article. Which better way to talk about it than father’s day.
So a little background about us, me and my dad. I think I was born and got him so much luck and he setup a factory, well he calls me snobbish for that but I’ll take it. I don’t have much childhood memories left in me but I do remember winning all my dance and art competitions and my dad not congratulating me for any of it, well he is a proper business man who doesn’t care much about art in any shape or form. I have always been scared of him till high school and then I became a rebel and things changed. Then their were two stubborn people.
When I see my girlfriend’s and their dad, I often realise that our relationship is different. Normally girls dad would treat their daughters like a princess and my dad would constantly put me to places to where I would be uncomfortable, not letting me leave reality, constantly telling me how difficult it is to earn money. This doesn’t stop here, as we went yesterday for our meeting in peak afternoon heat, which was at our construction site he made sure that I was standing with him for half an hour, I went to police station for passport verification he came with me and showed how buglers were beaten to death, he is always trying to show me the reality of the situation and I have always hated it.
VERY IMPORTANT - He does care for me a lot and he isn’t great at showing it but I see his moves indirectly. Constantly asking my mom to feed me five times a day as I lost few kgs or calling me up later on the day that I cried for some random absurd work just to see that I am ohkay. Giving me all the freedom in the world to come home anytime, go anywhere. Reminding me that I don’t need makeup because I’m his by product aka pretty.
We both have such weird love hate relationship that it could blow from a fun banter to a fight in seconds.
Yesterday I went out with a friend where she was talking about how she is not motivated to work and that there is no pressure from her dad either, and I couldn’t relate to what she was saying because my narrative is so different with all the tough love dad has given me, until that point I never understood what it was but yesterday I realised that the normal for me wasn’t exactly normal for others, yes my day has questionable ways but it also made me who I am.
From a girl who is always flying he makes sure to humble me every single day. He would spoil me a piece a jewellery and then would make sure to tell me how many months I would take to buy me. He would take me on vacation and remind me that what if he didn’t earn well enough that we would never afford vacations. And their are places where we both have accepted that our opinions can never be the same (took me years).
As I keep up skilling myself developing Andyou my clothing brand, my mom keeps telling me how much I am like my dad and it’s my biggest compliment. It’s always a roller coaster ride with him but somewhere down the line I have started enjoying it, initially was like someone has forced me into it.
Things may often look difficult with family, but when you look back in the hindsight they are usually trying to make you understand a lesson that was hidden for you specially, a key to unlock the future potential of yourself. My dad has still not said a word about my brand and I was mad about that for the longest time but I am well aware that he has not been taught to show his emotions openly and he is 53, expecting anyone to change at that age is stupid, but I know that he loves me deeply like no one can and he is always a call away.
I am going to go and give him a big hug and 100 kisses to which he is going to reply what do you want from me! Classic. Well, a new pair of earrings won’t hurt anyone hehe just kidding.
Thankyou for taking out the time:) go tell your parents that you love them.